MUSIC

I just read a TON of comments on someone's profile about music and which types of music glorify God. I have an opinion on the matter - a HUGE opinion actually. But that's not what this post is for. I just want to make a quick point...

God doesn't anoint songs - He anoints people.

I think we all agree on that point. I've heard it preached many times, and I have thanked God every day for His anointing to create music and His anointing for life in general.

This is where my brain gets a little bemuddled - why is it that if God does not anoint songs, but in fact anoints people, that we have to argue about where to draw the line? Since each of us are first and foremost accountable to GOD - and if we are following His commandments, living each day according to His word and His direction, His leading, His guiding - since we are promised the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord... isn't it safe to assume that God's plan for each of us would be different at times? And that plan could include paths in life that would also differ?

While I may not personally approve of everyone's lifestyle - it is up to YOU to decide what you want to do with your life. While I may not like the career path you choose, or the movies that you watch ... or the music that you listen to or create ... that does not mean I have the right to approve, disapprove, or at worst insult or put down your taste or decisions.

Anyway, those are my two cents if there is anyone interested in reading it. And as I said, there's more than likely more to come - a lot more. Oh and I only tagged a few people because I thought you may be particularly interested in reading my not so humble opinion :)

Principles v. Doctrine

Pastor Sonja Davis of Rock Church in Petersburg spoke this morning an excellent message on Family. She began by reading a prophetic word that was given at our most recent conference regarding the spirit of family with which God has and will continue to bless this congregation. Families are complex structures that are different in every case - no two families are alike. Each family has its own strengths and its own weaknesses, and really cannot be compared; however family structure can be and often is compared against a standard that we hold in our hearts. Some have allowed this standard to change over the years to accommodate modern society's lack of morals, but there are those of us who still cling to the pattern given by God of traditional marriage and family.

That was a very complicated introduction to the comparison of family to the church. A church is really structured like a large, loving, sometimes disfunctional family. Just like no two families are a like, no two churches are alike. This can be attributed to churches being made up of individuals, larger groups established on the strengths and weakness of the members.

Despite the acknowledgement that no two churches are alike, I still have a hard time understanding how any two churches doctrines can vary so drastically. We are all given the same exact standard - the Word of God. We have been blessed with the same revelations of truth - the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord. We have all been given the gift of the Holy Spirit, the gifts of the Spirit, the fruits of the Spirit, the five-fold ministry, the writings of Paul, the four gospels; this list goes on and on. So if we have all been given the same basic structure of doctrine, how are all the churches so very different?

I understand completely the differences between the denominations. Doctor Eldon Wilson spoke eloquently about the process of allowing revelation to stop in our lives - God is alive, and so is His Word. Our revelation of Him should be continuously growing, constantly progressing, changing if you would - but He does not change. He is the same yesterday ... today ... forever. It is dangerous to allow our revelation become stagnant; by not allowing your definition of God to grow you are in fact causing it to become small. If something is by nature intended to constantly increase in size, becoming dormant is the same as shrinking back.

Where I tend to become confused is how two churches within the same denomination can be so different in the doctrine they preach? Or maybe it isn't the doctrine that varies at all, but the principles? And how is it that the same God who is the same always reveals different principles to different people?

Casual Courtship = Irresponsible Dating

I believe that love is the most powerful force that we as humans have been given by God. God IS love, and everything that was accomplished from the foundations of the earth has been an extension of that very love. So if God IS love, and if He dwells in us, it is then through a relationship with God that we as Christians come to know His perfect love, thereby enabling us to extend a more perfect love than we did before Christ.

Those of us who are walking in God’s saving grace each day have knowledge of perfect love. However, understanding and receiving the miracle of God’s perfect love in our lives is not all we are required to do. We should be living according to the standard of God’s purity and holiness, His standard of a more perfect love than is possible without Him. Each decision we make, each conversation we have, each day we work, talk, live, act and breathe should reflect exactly how perfect God’s love truly is. (On a side note, personally I believe God does not expect that we attain perfection but that we constantly strive for perfection, but that is another conversation for another time).

This brings me to my biggest frustration regarding dating/courtship. Surprisingly, it is not the modern definition of “dating” to which society clings that upsets me. How can I expect anything but shallow, meaningless attempts at lasting relationships when they have not experienced the one true and perfect love there is? There are, of course, exceptions to this rule: marriages that are not centered on Christ that do find a way to succeed, relationships that last a lifetime even though they do not lean on the source of strength we have come to know Christ to be. While the philosophies of social dating are in my opinion very wrong, it is with the church’s acceptance of these practices that I find the biggest fault.

Now, it is important for you to know that I am not completely on the side of courtship, and will not defend a lot of its teachings. I do not believe it is simply sufficient for everyone to pray about who God wants them to marry, wait for an answer, and marry soley on what they believe to be the Word of God. I am sure that some have faith enough for this, but I do not think many of us do; I know I do not. Personally, I wanted to have a relationship with the man I would spend my forever with; I desired a deep knowledge of who the he is (as much as you can know about a person before living with them, which brings many revelations about your partner and yourself!); a better understanding of with whom I would be building my life.

“Courtship” does have its virtues: focusing on purity rather than temporary satisfaction, teaching that God should be the valued center of any relationship, starting the relationship by seeking direction from the One who is a rock through any storm and a shelter in the times of trouble sure to come. These is certainly no fault to be found in these philosophies.

This blog was not to be an in-depth discussion of the pros and cons of courtship; my intent, however, is to express my disappointment in the recent trend of the church toward a more social dating atmosphere, rather than a pure, holy, Godly approach to dating.

I do not believe under any circumstances the philosophies of courtship or of dating are completely right or completely wrong. I believe the proper approach to the topic is to find a balance between the two. To simply rely on one’s ability to hear from God regarding their spouse is not always a sound solution; neither is it wise to rely completely and fully on our spiritual oversight about a decision as life-changing and permanent as marriage. While it would be ideal if our Pastors, teachers, or spiritual leaders could be correct 100% of the time, the fact remains that they remain human, and are thereby bound, by their very nature, to be wrong some of the time. Considering you are the one who will wake up each day with your spouse, and you are the one who will have to decide for the rest of your life to make this marriage work, because marriage truly is work, YOU are the only person qualified to say, “I do.”

While the ultimate decision does rest entirely in your hands, this does not absolve you from the process of accountability to your local church, your pastor, teachers or spiritual leaders. In order to make a good decision, you must remain teachable and accountable to those who are looking out for your welfare; however, this does not mean your decision should hinge entirely on their opinion of the matter.

With that said, we can now discuss what is bothering me so badly about the decisions Christians are making regarding their courtship relationships. How, by any stretch of the word, is it okay to be “in love” with one person in April, and another in May? It is not okay! It is casual courtship and has become just as irresponsible as social dating of the unsaved. Moreover, it diminishes the value of love. Let me explain. By declaring your love for someone, you are pledging to them your life. It is not something you throw around to just anyone for the sake of fuzzy feelings or rushes of adrenaline.

I think it is more than worth waiting for the “right one” to come along; do not misunderstand me, I do not believe there is one magically right person for each of us. Marriage is a committment and love is a decision rooted in emotion. You commit to making it work. You dedicate your life to the physical, emotional and sexual safe-keeping of another. God never violates principles for the sake of purpose. While you may claim you are “following God’s will” for your life, you must remember that God most certainly does not will for you to break another’s heart to “follow His purposes.” He loves all of His children equally; why would he prefer one to another, and cause you to walk away from someone you have committed to for the sake of “his purpose.”

I said all of that to say, If you would like to date Sally in August and Bambi in September, feel free. It is your decision. If you want to say “I love you” just because it is what your significant other wants to hear, then go ahead, you are more than welcome to be that shallow. And should you decide that you want to casually move from relationship to relationship (to relationship), they are hearts you are willing to break. Call it what it is - dating.

Virginia is for Lovers

Well it has been a very long time since I have written a blog, and for that, I have no apology, just excuses. Life has been so very busy for my little family and I, free minutes have been few and far between. Today I am home sick, so I have a whole day to rest and do nothing, or mostly nothing, so here goes ... mostly nothing.


I am sitting in the living room at my in-laws listening to Diego our loveable pug snore, while Barbara talks on the phone to her office (which is practically falling apart without her!) and Joshua is watching Cash Cab. Savanna is upstairs in Abigail's crib taking a greatly needed nap; she has been asking to go "night night" for the past hour.


She is the sweetest little thing, my Savanna Jaye. Sleeping is one of her favorite activities. If I could impress anything on new mothers to be, it is definitely the importance of laying a child down to sleep ON THEIR OWN at a young age. Rocking a child to sleep, while enjoyable, only benefits the parent; I understand it fills a need for bonding time between mama and baby, but it does more harm to the child's behavior and schedule than it helps. Sleep props develop patterns and habits of neediness, and it stays with them until adulthood. While fixing the problem immediately at hand - a sleepy child - it creates a much larger problem in the behavior of the child.


Well I am sleepy so I will now join my baby girl and take a nap!

Much Ado About Nothing

I haven't written in a long while, and honestly, I have nothing important to say. Not that any of my past blogs have been important, but at least they have a point. As for this one, I cannot promise as much.

I do have a confession - I am addicted to cooking. I have recently come to learn that I love to cook, and I love to watch other people cook. I am a complete addict to FoodNetwork. My husband bought me a new knife over the weekend, RACHELRAY'S knife - and I think it's my favorite thing he's ever bought me, well except my engagement ring, but then again, that is a DIAMOND, so HELLO.

It's a nice day out, and soon I'm going shopping with Stefanie for KYROS, our church's Youth Center. We are participating in the 4th of July Parade in Jersey Shore; the kids are having a contest to see who can come up with the best idea for a float. They're pretty stoked about it. They all want to ride on the float during the parade. I think it's going to be pretty cool. We may put up a booth at the carnival, too. Possibly sell soda and ice cream. YUM

And that concludes my pointless blog. I know. Big Finish.

"Work Work Work," as Dot would always say

I love being a mother. I know all mamas think their babies are the most wonderful and amazing children ever, but they are wrong, because mine is :)

She is so sweet. She just climbed into my lap and gave me a kiss. Of course, she said, "Bye Bye Mama" when she did it - I think she's trying to tell me something. She has the kindnest little nature about her. For example, I have seen countless children drag their doll babies around by their feet, or throw them around by their hair, yelling at them or scolding them like they just misbehaved. But not Savanna. She picks them up and hugs them and kisses them. She puts them "night night" and lays them down gently. Every morning and at naptime when we wake her up, she hands us her doll baby so we can give her a kiss and then waves bye bye to her as we leave her room.

She is walking now. It is so neat to see her independence grow each day, because I know she will grow up to be a strong woman, but what I enjoy most right now is when she looks at Joshua or I for reassurance. Usually when a new person at the store or church says hi to her, she looks at usfirst, as if to make sure it is OK that she say hello back. Or she'll take a few steps in a new direction, and turn around and look to make sure we are right behind her. She loves to climb the stairs, and at the same place, where th railing begins half way up, she stops, turns around, and waits for us to kiss her before she continues up.

I can't help but think that God looks at us like this sometimes. He wants us to get to the point where we are successful, and can make good, moral and upright decisions, the point where we are strong and secure in our Christian walk and lifestyle of discipleship. But I also know that He must love it when we look to Him and make sure He is right there with us, never straying more than a few steps without being sure we are not getting ahead of Him, or falling behind Him, making sure we have His approval for our endeavors.

And in case you are interested, I was just sitting here thinking "I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TONIGHT!" For those of you who don't know, and I use those words lightly, as if anyone reads my blog, I teach computer courses through a Community Education Program at a local High School. While it is good money, and scratches my teacher's itch, I just don't want to go tonight. It's cold. And rainy. And cloudy. And it's one of those nights I want to cuddle up with a blanket, my husband and baby in my arms, and watch an old black and white movie while sipping hot chocolate.

I LOVE BEING A MAMA

The Aroma of Life

In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life.
2 CORINTHIANS 2:14-16

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As usual, my day started around 6 this morning. Sitting at the kitchen table, I can smell dinner simmering already - we're having chicken soup. I haven't yet decided yet if it will be chicken noodle soup, corn chowder, or a combination of both. But it smells delicious.

Everything we do, everywhere we go, every single day, our actions portray who we are. I don't believe we are defined by what we do, but most of the time, that's all the world has to define us by - our actions. They don't know our heart as God does, and they certainly cannot discern our intentions.

Consider this - if all that we do and don't do, all that we say and don't say truly does produce what can be described as an aroma or fragrance - what is it that we smell like? And what SHOULD we smell like?

It is only natural to assume that our "fragrance" will be produced by whatever we have spent the most time doing, or WHO we have spent the most time with. It never ceases to amaze and disgust me how easily a nonsmoker can detect a smoker by smell alone: their clothing, their car, their breath. I have also walked into many family gatherings, the room filled with Italians, only be greeted by a cloud of garlic.

So if we are spending our time with God, our "fragrance" should smell like God. People we come in contact with should be left with the beautiful perfume of life in Christ, something that should entice them to desire more of that same aroma.

This topic reminds me of a sermon my dad preached a few weeks ago in which he mentioned "the house of bread." In home meeting when discussing the sermon, our minds wandered to how wonderful Santino's smells in the morning when they are baking their bread. Oh my, it is one of the most wonderful things ever. You close your eyes, take a deep, deep breath - you can almost taste it.

That's how much I want to smell like God, so people can almost taste and see that He is good - just from how I smell.

At its Finest

While reading today's My Utmost for His Highest devotional, one particular statement jumped out at me:

The ministry of Christ is characterized by an abiding glory of which the servant is totally unaware ("Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone while he talked with Him" Exodus 34:29).

I've seen The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston more times than I could possibly remember. It came on every year in the spring, and we'd prepare for it: bake cookies, make popcorn, bring pillows and blankets into the living room - it was ON and we loved it. We especially loved Charlton Heston's legs (private joke, sorry).

I have also read the account of the Moses's encounter with God on Mount Sinai and never noticed the portion of the story where it says Moses didn't know his own face was shining. Just think about that for a second; to be so surrounded by God, so immersed in His presence, so intensely effected by conversing with Him that your face shines with the glory of God.

REFLECTION. Moses was so touched by God that His face became a literal reflection of God's glory. I am sure there is a theological explanation for why his face shined so brightly. But to my simple mind, this passage challenges me to be less a demonstration of me, and more of a reflection of God. Too many times I think we allow the stuff of this world and the things we fill our daily lives with to cloud our opportunity to be God's reflection. Moses talked with God; he had an encounter that changed his countenance. This is Christianity at its finest.

HUMILITY. Moses left that mountain a different man. A confident man. A man with destiny and purpose. A man who had just looked into the face of God, spent time one-on-one with Jehovah, Almighty, I Am, the Everlasting, the Alpha and Omega. A man who saw how immense God is, and was humbled in the presence of a being greater than himself. He communicated what God had spoken to him, the two tablets of testimony, with a veiled face. Can't you just imagine what the reaction of some of us would have been? "Look, everybody, my glowing face is so beautiful, aren't you just amazed by it?!" Okay that sounds silly, but think about it: it would be natural to want everyone to notice what was going on. I'm sure once Moses found out that he had a new, glow in the dark countenance he was tempted to want attention. Who wouldn't be?! But no, he hid his face behind a veil, I believe so that Israel would hear what God had to say without being distracted by or drawn to Moses himself. This is ministry at its finest.

"We all, with unveiled face, beholding . . . the glory of the Lord"
2 Corinthians 3:18

Curiosity Killed the ... Monkey?

This morning I was watching Curious George with the most amazing baby girl you'll ever meet, my precious little Savanna Jaye. I have to admit, I was definitely enjoying it as much as - no, more than - she was. George woke up to a mysterious sound. Upon investigating, he discovered the man in the yellow hat digging a hole in the yard. Of course, George wanted to join in. So with shovels, a wheelbarrow, buckets and hard hats, they dug a large hole in the yard. But the man in the yellow hat wouldn't tell George what the hole was for. It was a surprise, he said.

As usual, George was left alone due to some situation that the yellow-hatted man needed to attend to, and trouble ensued. He dropped his hard hat into the bottom of the hole, and discovered if he filled the hole with water, the hat would rise to the top. Problem solved. Except he needed to get rid of the water. Or did he? Of course not. Because the hole was going to be a pond. The man in the yellow hat returned to find the pond already filled to the brim with water. And he was thrilled. It all worked out perfectly. It always does for Curious George.

If only life was that simple, eh? How great would it be if all of our monkeying around turned out the way it should, no problems, no complications, just perfection by way of mishap. I dunno what the point of this blog is, really. I guess I was thinking about some of the decisions I have made in life. While I regret none, I do know now that I should have chosen differently. Or maybe I should say if I knew then what I know now - wait, isnt' that a song?

"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake." ~William Blake~

RELATIONSHIP * ACCOUNTABILITY * TRUST
Three elements that are vital in all friendships.

Sometimes relationships take time to develop; time to get to know each other, to build memories, and invest in each other's growth. Othertimes you meet someone and know right away that you'll be best friends forever, or in the words of Anne Shirley, bosom friends. Friendships have always been hard for me. I was pretty lonely in my teen years; I say this not to evoke pity, just as an observation. I knew a lot of people, but I didn't have anyone who I would call a great friend, or a best friend, or friend in general until much later in life. It's as though I went through a season in time from about 12 to my early twenties where I just didn't grow close to anyone in particular. I've also learned the hard way not to trust everyone who says they can be trusted. Not everyone who tells you they'll take your secret to the grave mean it.

I had one of those instant friendships once. She was so hilarious, and we hit it off right away. We had the kind of friendship that I had read about as a child, a bosom friendship. We thought the same things, laughed the same way at the same things, and had the same passion for God and serving Him. We were so much alike yet so very different all at the same time - she was the athlete, I was a musician; she was pretty fearless, I was pretty much a chicken; she had a lot of friends, I had her. She taught me so much about friendship and what it means to be faithful and loyal and loving, to give in a relationship rather than just take, to be there when your friend needs to cry, how to listen and what it felt like to be listened to. We're still friends; both grown and married now, with little girls of our own. I mention her because in my list of friendships, she is significant - she was my first best friend that was not also a member of my family.

So here are my thoughts on friendship.

One never feels forced or obligated to spend time with someone they truly love and choose to fellowship with. Every one of us looks for different qualities in a friend. What is important to some may not be to others. But I think of all the qualities we look for, faithfulness and loyalty are always key in cultivating a worthwhile friendship.

In true, true friendship, there is no backbiting - because true friendship is built on trust. You always look for the best in your friends, you believe the best about them, and are not quick to judge when someone else points a finger at them. And you know they will believe the best about you.

True friends are dependable. They do what they say they're going to do. When they say they're going to be there for you - they are. When they say they'll help you with something - they do. When they say they won't lie to you, hurt you, or betray you - they don't. And when they say you can trust them - you can.

Real, genuine friends encourage one another, forgive one another, and support one another, no matter what!

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~Arabian Proverb~

Healthy and Unhealthy Fear

Over the past few years, I have learned many things - some have been my own revelations, while others have come at the hands and mouths of others.

One lesson I have learned is regarding the topic of fear, and how incredibly powerful it is as a motivating force. While the word itself may be easily defined, it is the purpose of fear that is often complex. Fear can be used to bring change into our lives, whether it is fear of change itself that drives us to it, or fear of dying, fear of failure, fear of growing apart; there is aerophobia, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, acrophobia, emetophobia, carcinophobia, brontophobia, necrophobia, mysophobia [anyone who watches Monk should know what this one is], and the list goes on and on and on.

It isn't until now that I have finally completely understood there is truly such a thing as healthy fear. At its simplist form, healthy fear is what keeps us out of harms way. Whether it be walking off the edge of a cliff because when we get to close our stomach tightens, or the feeling of apprehension when the roads are slippery and we know it is time to slow down.

There is also the element of healthy fear when it comes to God's love for us, and our love for Him. Fear is foundational in learning widsom, as elequently put in Proverbs 9:10, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." In order to fully understand how incredible God's love for us is, we must understand the depth of His judgement. We quake with fear at the destructive power of an atom bomb, but we forget that God spoke and worlds came into being.

healthy fear is what causes us to respect God and to revere his sovereignty. The Bible also tells us that God's love, perfect love, casts out all fear. How can it cast out all fear when in order to receive and understand love, there must be fear? I believe this scripture is speaking of unhealthy fear. Perfect love in no way magnifies fear, or uses fear to control our decisions or the decisions of others.

I think we should learn from God's example. Using fear to manipulate or control others around us is wrong, and God frowns on it. He gave us free will and the ability to choose for ourselves - and He gave each of us individually the parameters in order to make the decisions morally, uprightly. When we lead by pointing fingers or calling names, it makes us nothing more than bullies with titles and nametags. God raises people up into positions of leadership, and manipulating those we are to be leading, those we are to be shaping and molding into God's image by the example that we set, those who are looking to us with trust. is wrong.

The gifts of God are "without repentance." So just because we, you, or someone you know may still be in a position of leadership, it does not indicate God's approval of their tactics, beliefs or methods.

But also remember, God calls all of us to respect our leaders and maintain a proper attitude, even if they are wrong. God honors us when our heart is right before Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15 says, "And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love! Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out."