"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake." ~William Blake~

RELATIONSHIP * ACCOUNTABILITY * TRUST
Three elements that are vital in all friendships.

Sometimes relationships take time to develop; time to get to know each other, to build memories, and invest in each other's growth. Othertimes you meet someone and know right away that you'll be best friends forever, or in the words of Anne Shirley, bosom friends. Friendships have always been hard for me. I was pretty lonely in my teen years; I say this not to evoke pity, just as an observation. I knew a lot of people, but I didn't have anyone who I would call a great friend, or a best friend, or friend in general until much later in life. It's as though I went through a season in time from about 12 to my early twenties where I just didn't grow close to anyone in particular. I've also learned the hard way not to trust everyone who says they can be trusted. Not everyone who tells you they'll take your secret to the grave mean it.

I had one of those instant friendships once. She was so hilarious, and we hit it off right away. We had the kind of friendship that I had read about as a child, a bosom friendship. We thought the same things, laughed the same way at the same things, and had the same passion for God and serving Him. We were so much alike yet so very different all at the same time - she was the athlete, I was a musician; she was pretty fearless, I was pretty much a chicken; she had a lot of friends, I had her. She taught me so much about friendship and what it means to be faithful and loyal and loving, to give in a relationship rather than just take, to be there when your friend needs to cry, how to listen and what it felt like to be listened to. We're still friends; both grown and married now, with little girls of our own. I mention her because in my list of friendships, she is significant - she was my first best friend that was not also a member of my family.

So here are my thoughts on friendship.

One never feels forced or obligated to spend time with someone they truly love and choose to fellowship with. Every one of us looks for different qualities in a friend. What is important to some may not be to others. But I think of all the qualities we look for, faithfulness and loyalty are always key in cultivating a worthwhile friendship.

In true, true friendship, there is no backbiting - because true friendship is built on trust. You always look for the best in your friends, you believe the best about them, and are not quick to judge when someone else points a finger at them. And you know they will believe the best about you.

True friends are dependable. They do what they say they're going to do. When they say they're going to be there for you - they are. When they say they'll help you with something - they do. When they say they won't lie to you, hurt you, or betray you - they don't. And when they say you can trust them - you can.

Real, genuine friends encourage one another, forgive one another, and support one another, no matter what!

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~Arabian Proverb~